Never Give Up
by NoelLunox
Summary: The pain of the love that Stiles have to endure. He, however, never give up his love for Derek Hale. God, I don't know how to summarize my own story. You guys just read it, okay. Have fun! ;D


_**Hey guys! So, this is my first story about Sterek. Actually I have two more but those still in progress and I just love to procrastinate things. So, yeah. this one , luckily, I already finished it up. Hope you guys enjoy reading it.**_

_**I do not own the characters of Teen Wolf. Just the story. **_

_**I don't have beta reader for this, so just bear with my grammar and language. **_

**NEVER GIVE UP**

I saw it.

He and my English teacher were kissing so passionately as if only the two of them exist in this fucked up world. It puzzled me when he didn't seem to sense me as I just stood less than ten feet away fro them, hiding behind the big, wide wall -watching him held her... Spun her around... Kissed her. Then again, why would he able to sense me when he was too busy with pouring our all his feelings toward her.

It was excruciating watching them like that. I can't do anything other than just stood here like an idiot and watched the soap opera in front of me. Who am I trying to stop them? Hell, he even going to toss me away so that he can continue their make out session.

I never feel like this before in my life. This pain. Actually... No. I had felt this pain once when my mom, Claudia, left me and dad forever. But, somehow, this pain was way more hurt than that. It feels like someone just ripped your heart and shredded it into millions pieces and it healed back in painfully slowed and ripped it over again and again in just this short time. I can't breath. My chest had tightened and some sharp barb wires wrapped around my already bleeding heart and constricted every time I saw he smiled at her like she's his whole world and the reason of his existence.

Why he can't smile at me like that? Why I'm not the one he's holding? Why he doesn't love me? Why is it so hurt? The questions kept replaying in my head. I ran away. Away from the cause of the torture moments of my life when the tears threaten to fall down.

I was in the woods.

I was walking in the woods with Scott and a bottle of whiskey. I just want to forget about 'him' and by doing that, I want to get drunk. Knowing that Scott cannot get drunk for being a werewolf, so this honey-brown alcohol was all mine.

Scott knew.

He knew about my feeling toward 'him'. Scott, just for once, stayed silent when I dragged him in the wood without asking any questions that he had on his mind. He understoog very well how miserable I felt right now. He just sat on the old plank of wood while I laid down on the dirty ground. I don't care if my clothes will get stained of the dirty soil or the wet of the damp old leaves. I don't care about the Alpha packs. I don't care about the Dharach. I don't want to care about anything anymore. Just for this night... I don't want to care about him.

"Thanks, dude. For being here with me when I need someone. You know what? As much as being broken up hurt, being alone is was worse."

He just smiled at me. A smile that held lots of meanings behind it. A promise of a friend that he will always be there for me. A promise of a friend that will always support me no matter what. A promise of a friend that reassure me that everything will be okay.

Thank you, Scott.

I was at the ice rink.

Scott had dragged me all the way her from my house to hang out with Allison and Lydia. He has been asked Boyd (bribing actually) to have the ice rink just for the four of us two days after that drunken night.

I knew Scott did this for me. But, i just can't brought myself to be like nothing happened and forget about 'him' so easily. 'He' has became a big part of my life even if it was only a year ago from the first time I met him in the woods.

However, I can't be selfish. Scott has been so much troubles to cheer me up and he's my only best friend in this world. I'm gonna smile like nothing's wrong had happened, pretend like everything was all right and act like it's all perfect even though deep inside me was hurting so much.

Lydia is not easy to fool with the mask that I have put on. She just sat on the bench with me after half an hour skate on the ice rink and chatted with me casually. But, I knew better. She's waited patiently for me to tell her what exactly on my mind.

When I can't stand anymore, I told her everything. About my feeling for 'him'. About how much it hurt to see him with other person in his arms. About how much it kills me knowing that we don't belong together.

"Sometimes there's other things you wouldn't think would be a good combination and then turn out to be like a perfect combination. You know, like two people together. Who nobody thought would be together. Ever," I said while watching Scott and Allison skating happily on the ice rink. I really envious with the both of them. Both from two different worlds but still can reached each other and loved each other fullheartedly as if they were meant together. Who am I kidding? They're perfect together be it in or out. Why can't I be like them?

"Yeah. I can see that," Lydia said softly, snapping me out from my agonizing thought.

I whipped my head to look at her. "You do?" I stared into her eyes, searching the truth behind her short and simple words, when she nodded. I smiled a little when I found the glinted of sincerity on her eyes.

Thank you, Lydia.

I was at his loft.

It has been a month since it happened. A month after he found out that the love of his life was using him and was an evil creature that killed lots of innocent lives. A month after his two betas, Erica and Boyd, died.

He refused to talk with his family members, Peter and Cora, let alone us -the strangers who he barely considered as friends. He locked himself in his room, engulfed in the sea of guilt and sorrow. Everyone had tried to make him talk, to make him let out everything that held his back. It's just no avail as he just stood in his room, quiet as a mannequin. Like he even not there... As if his soul already withered away that left his physical figure and only his beating heart that told us that he still alive. I shuddered, scared at the thought of him being lifeless... Not breathing anymore.

That was when it clicked in my mind. I have to do something. He might be hurting me so much neither it was physically or mentally, I still love him. I don't want him to suffer like this, blaming himself for Boyd and Erica's death because it wasn't his fault. The despair that he had put me through cannot withstand the love that I have for him. No one can stop me or prevent me from falling in love with him. No one.

So here I am, standing in front of the rusty metal door that hid my object of endearment. I knew he knew that I was at his front door as I saw his feet's silhouette contrast with the light.

In my hand, I held a piece of white paper that I has scribbled words just for him, hoping swelled up inside me that he will understand every word on it. I opened it and read it for the last time before I slipped it under the door and left.

_When you really want something, sometimes you have to swim a little deeper..._

_You can't give up just because things don't come as easy as you thought it would be..._

_You have to overcome the obstacles and face your fears..._

_Because in the end, it's all worth while!_

_Life is full of ups and downs..._

_But if you believe in yourself, you always come through with flying colors..._

_Never underestimate yourself..._

_Friends and family are stood still to lend a hand for you..._

_You just need to reach that hand, Derek._

_-Stiles_

I was on my roof.

It was September night when I laid on my roof, wrapping myself with thick blanket -watching billions of stars that covered the darkness of the night. It's cold out here. Whenever I let out a breath, a white puff of cloud will form and my pale cheeks became red, tried to make me stay warm as my blood could make it.

I heard footsteps came towards me. I don'have to look who the person was because I knew who he was. I don't know how I know... I just know it was him. It has been four days since I was at his loft, leaving the letter for him. I wrapped the blanket closer and let out a shaky breath as he sat next to me.

I don't know how long the both of us stayed in silence like this, quietly watching the stars sparkled above us. Once again I let out a breath.

"I love you so much that it hurting me and it makes me cry because I know... I know someday there will be someone that will going to take you away or you would just leave, Derek. And I know my love won't be enough to make you stay right here, with me," I choked out, breaking the silence and this time... This time I let my tears rolled down on my temples, obeying the law of gravity and I closed my eyes.

I felt a warm, soft lips that I longing for a long time on mine. A mere kiss that filled with love and passionate that my heart skipped a beat and my stomach flipped from overjoy. All the sounds of the midnight just disappeared, the sounds of crickets or the cold wind -all gone. The coldness that I felt from the coldness of fall season just has been replaced with the warmth of his body that pressed against mine instantly.

I opened my eyes slowly, after the kiss was broken -only to be drowned in the most mesmerizing lemongrass eyes. He gently wiped the tears away from my cheeks whilst eyes still locked with mine. Then, suddenly the pain... The agonizing pain came back like a lightning that struck heart and I closed back my eyes and turned away from him.

"If this... If you did this just out of sympathy, leave me alone, Derek," my voice was hoarse from holding back the tears but to no avail, I felt it flowed down on my cheeks once again. The pleasure warmth was gone when he pulled away from me. For a moment, I thought he really going to leave me alone, but no. He just sat next to me closely.

"I don't love her. I just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, she was just good for my ego. Or... Or maybe she made me feel better about my miserable life, but I still didn't love her. Because I don't destroy the people I love no matter how evil they were," he said quietly.

Silence.

"My mother used to tell me that true love is putting someone else before yourself," I can feel the warmth of his hand as he reached my hand ad entwined our fingers together. "All this time you have put me before yourself and I didn't even realized it. And when I do, it scared me, Stiles," he tightened his gripped and when I opened my eyes to look at him and shifted into sit position. He looked full of regret and dejected at the same time. "You have risked your life so many times just for me and I returned nothing for you. I instead running away from you and end up hurting you." A single droplet of tear fell down on his face and he clenched his teeth, didn't want more tears roll down. I held my free hand on his cheek and wiped away the tear.

"I love you, Derek. I always love you no matter what you have done to me. I can't explain why I love you so much into words to make you believe me. I just wake up every morning, telling myself that I love Derek Hale and I can't imagine my life without you. I just want you in my life because you are and always will be my everything."

I knew it was enough to make him believe in me when he smiled at me genuinely before he kissed me lightly on the back of my hand for a few seconds before he let it go, just to wrapped his both hands around me, spreading all the warmth he can give to me which I willingly accepted it.

"I love you, Stiles. Forever," he whispered on my ear.

I looked up at him to find the truth of his words that laced with true feeling of his love. I smiled at him and nuzzled closer on the crook of his neck, inhaled his earthy and woody scent. We just cuddled like that until I fell asleep in his arms.

When I woke up on the next day, I was on my bed. But, this time I was not alone when I felt his arms wrapped around my waist and held me closer to his chest that made me felt loved and secured. The sound of light snore and calm breath showed that he was still sleeping.

I smiled and sighed in content, felt the heavy loads on my shoulders had just lifted off and I snuggled closed to his broad chest while whispered, "I love you." His arms pulled me closer to him and I felt his smile when he kissed my forehead dearly.

"I love you too, Stiles," he replied quietly.

It was worth it to never give up for loving him.

_**+Anyway, I have took a several quotes from google and one from Olaf (FROZEN). Thank you for spending your time reading my story. :)**_


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